The Cullens Go Counselling
by CULLENS GIRL 95
Summary: If you think the Cullens are normal during school, think again! This is what happens when Jasper gets bored, Emmett is deprived, Alice wants to shop and Bella blows up! PostBD Canon-AU Slight-OOCness Canon-Pairing's
1. Why Do I Cry!

**Summary:** If you think the Cullens are normal during school, think again! This is what happens when Jasper gets bored, Emmett is deprived, Alice wants to shop and Bella blows up!

**Cullens Go Counselling**

**Chapter 1**

**Why Do I Cry?!**

**Jasper POV**

Great, another boring week stuck in the drab halls of high school. And just to make the start of my week even worse my first class had to be with Emmett.

As if the amount of lust coming off these teenagers isn't enough to make me want to grab Alice and drag her to Canada for an exclusive honeymoon, Emmett turns up his lust just to piss me off.

And to make matters so much better (please note the sarcasm) we were in History, learning about the Civil War! I mean, come on! I was bloody well there! I don't need to listen to this brainless human get all his facts wrong!

I sighed as I looked at the clock. Oh joy, only another 59 minutes to go! I mean I know time passes slowly for a vampire but, this is ridiculous!

Tick, tock, tick, tock…..

That clock is torturing me I swear!

The light bulb above my head lit up as I spotted Emmett in the seat next to me, amusing himself by poking the paper in front of him, and saying "look Jasper, look! It moved!" too low for human ears. I smiled evilly and Emmett looked at me warily.

"Jasper….do I want to know what you're planning?? Because, I recognise that look on your face and am very, very worried" Emmet hissed, barely moving his lips to human eyes.

"You shall see my dear Emmett. You shall see…" I trailed off dramatically, making Emmett go into full-out panic mode.

I sat there, waiting for the perfect opportunity arise, when Mr Matthews called out Michael Adams and it struck me in the face so I waited for him to call out poor Emmett's name

"Emmett Cullen!" he yelled.

I sent poor Emmett wave after wave of confusion and emotions needed to fuel a temper tantrum sat back and watched my evil plan set into motion.

"Cullen? Who is this Cullen you speak of?? I am a McCarty!" Emmett bellowed whilst jumping up and down on his seat with the likeness of a five-year old. I smirked while he did this but the smirk was wiped off when the chair collapsed beneath him.

I couldn't control myself any longer and burst out laughing as Emmett curled up into the foetal position.

I sent Emmett boosts of sorrow mixed with depression and he burst out into hysterical dry sobs into his knees. I saw the teacher out of the corner of my eye; cautiously make his way towards where Emmett was having his mental breakdown.

I put my hand over my mouth discreetly to suppress the laughter bubbling inside of me. Everyone in the class was staring in shock at my supposed big brother, as he dry sobbed.

As sir reached Emmett he bent down and was full of pity for him.

"Erm…Emmett are you ok?"

Emmett's face scrunched up in mock-pain with the torrent of emotions I was sending him. He suddenly thrust his finger in front of Mr Matthews face and garbled "No, mommy kiss my booboo!"

The teacher slipped into shock and backed away from my demented brother slowly. Emmett got to his feet and tried to close the gap, screaming, "mommy don't you love me?!"

I couldn't believe how great this was going! I saw Emmett turn quickly and wink at me before going back to terrorizing the teacher. I slowly looked around the class to see the rest of them talking amongst themselves, and pointing at Emmett whilst stifling laughs behind there hands as I had been earlier.

Mr Matthews stuttered shakily, "y-you ha-ave prob-roblems Mr Cullen!" "Get your self to the councillor!" he ended strongly, regaining some decorum as he pointed crossly to the exit.

Emmett sprung up and returned to normal and strutted out the door, head held high. "Jasper, just so you know, I am so gonna get you back for this!" he gave me an evil smile and slunk out the door. The class tittered in my direction and returned their gaze to the front.

The realization that I was now alone, and going to be bored to death (again!) crashed down upon me. The teacher went back to the front and continued his boring, and less than accurate lecture on the Civil War.

Many minutes later…

I was daydreaming and thinking of Alice, my thought's being fuelled by the lust around me when I heard the teacher say something unforgivable.

"Personally, I believe the Confederate army got what they deserved! They never were any good in the first place!"

It was then something inside me snapped! Mr Matthews would live to regret that! He would pay!

I shoved my desk away from me and stood up, wincing as the screeching of its legs against the floor hurting my sensitive ears but, at that point I could care less! I had just been offended personally by a measly little human who hadn't even been there!

I could feel my inner-Rosalie raging to come out and lash out at this pathetic human! I let go and sat back and watched the show. "How the hell would you know?! You weren't even there like me! I'm the one who lived through the bloody Civil War! I knew the facts, the torture the horror of watching a comrade die in your arms!"

I continued in this vein, sending the idiot into shock once more, as he stared in disbelief at me. The collective gasp of the students around me brought me back to Earth. The enormity of what I had just said hit me like Tyler's van would've done had it hit Bella years ago. (Why on Earth did I think of that memory?)

Once sir came out of his shock, he just sighed defeated and pointed at the door and uttered a single word. "Councillor."

**AN: **Dun, dun, dun…

**Myra**: How's that for a first chapter?? And it get's even weirder so beware, enter at your own risk (I know she scars me too (from Megan))

**Megan**: Please read and review! We'd love to know and want to know what you're thinking.

**Lauren**: Hope you like it!

**By Lauren, Megan and Myra**


	2. Over My Pile Of Ashes!

**Chapter 2**

**Over My Pile Of Ashes!**

**Edwards POV**

Oh God Rosalie shut the hell up! It should be illegal for anyone to think of sex this much. I mean come on! They do it all night long. Does she really need to think of it during school hours too?!

Suddenly, a rush of different positions came at me. Oh my good Lord I never thought that Emmett could bend that way! The images were too much and I couldn't stand this any longer!

I stood up and shut my eye tight and turned towards rose. I don't think that I could ever look at her in the same way again; though you think I would be used to it by now. I screamed at her begging, her "stop thinking of Emmett like that! I did not need to know he was that bendy!"

Rose looked at me and gave me her patented Rosalie-death-glare as the class looked on in absolute shock. "Get the hell out of my head Edward!" she ground out.

"I sort of can't" I threw back at her bitingly.

"I don't care! Keep out of my thoughts! They're for me only!" she yelled at me, though I was right next to her. "Don't make me get my lighter out on you Edward Anthony Cullen! I don't think Bella would appreciate you as ashes!"

The class gasped loudly and Rosalie and I looked at each other horrified. We looked around slowly and hoped no one had heard our little out burst. Yeah right!

We quickly sat down and pretended we hadn't done anything but, alas it was not meant to be! The teacher jolted out of his stupor and gave us what he thought was a terrifying glare. _Are these kids on crack or something?! _I heard him think and I smirked behind my hand.

Rose raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at me as she glimpsed my smirk. I gestured towards the man standing at the front, the one who was currently trying to decide whether to send us to the principle's office or not. I saw him make his mind up and groaned. Rose asked me in her mind what was the matter. I was just about to say 'I thought you didn't want me in your mind' when Sir began to speak.

"Mr Cullen and Miss Hale would you please care to explain your little out burst!" he stared down his freakishly large nose at us.

"No! Why should we?" Rosalie turned her own nose up at him. Mr Spock's (I mean really, Spock?!) face turned a sickly puce colour which I assumed was due to embarrassment.

"Very well then, to the principle's office you go!"

_Is this guy for real?_ I heard Rosalie think. Nevertheless, she gracefully rose from her desk, grabbing her designer handbag as she went and strutted out the door, as if without a care in the world, which was probably true unless it was to do with her.

I just shook my head and followed glaring at all the humans as I went.

As we passed Renesmee and Jacob's classroom I heard some very disturbing thoughts, and I realized that – unfortunately - they were coming from my baby and my (now) target!

I saw red and barged into their class without warning…

**Renesmee's POV**

I didn't know how it happened but, one second I was thinking of my Jake when suddenly, my dad crashed through the door's of the classroom, and by the look on his face, somebody wasn't happy.

He scowled in my direction, probably because, of my thoughts and then proceeded to slowly stalk Jacob. _What the hell are you doing?!_ I thought towards him as loud as I possibly could. He winced at that, I was assuming, volume of my 'inside-voice' but, that did not deter him from his destination and soon he was full out chasing Jacob round the classroom.

And in the precious few seconds I looked away to glance around us and taking into account my shocked but, very amused Aunt Rosalie in the doorway, my dad and Jacob had managed to jump out the window! Now that may've been alright if we'd been on the ground floor of the building but, unfortunately we were on the first floor!

My Aunt Rose appeared at my side, adopting a worried expression on her face. I knew she was the one who was the most protective of our secret. She gently took hold of my upper-arm and whispered in vampire-speed "time to go."

As she was one with a flair for dramatics, she couldn't help but flip her hair and wave before dashing out the door with me, leaving a stunned class in our wake.

**Rose's POV**

I stood in shock as I watched Edward run about the classroom chasing Jacob. I couldn't believe my eyes as they jumped out a _window_! I mean come on are the trying to expose are secret. I wouldn't mind but we weren't even on the first floor but no we were on the _second_ floor.

I took hold of the frozen Nessie and ran after my idiot bother and the dog. Nessie was still in shock but, as we came onto the sight that was Edward on top of Jacob, Nessie flipped! It was one of those sights an Aunty would be proud of!,

"What the hell are you doing dad!" screamed my little ball of fury. I wiped a fake tear of my cheek as I watched her rip out Edward but unfortunately it was only verbally. I would have to make her into a better fighter for that.

I watched Nessie as she jumped on to her Dad's back trying to pull him of Jacob. She was amazingly strong for a half pint. Oh My God where did that come from, Emmett is rubbing of on me!

Before Nessie killed Edward I had to step in, and I was having so much fun watching this. I grabbed Jacob and Edward by the ears and took them the principles office, with Nessie behind me kicking Edward's ankles the whole way there.

We walked into the principles office and I roughly shoved Edward and Jacob into their chairs and glared at them as I sat down myself, Nessie following my lead and sitting down in the chair next to me, glaring all the while with sparks shooting out of her eyes.

The principle swiveled round in his chair and my mind immediately thought of those villains in those James Bond movies, and how it was such a bad imitation.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" he asked. Oh great, now all we needed was the fat, white cat and he'd be the perfect bad imitation of The Godfather.

"Nothing" growled Edward sulkily from his chair like a two year old.

I could not believe the nerve of that guy! What the hell! I rounded on him and blew my top.

"Nothing?! Nothing?! You were invading my privacy you stupid mind reader!" I was beyond my self with rage. It was NOT nothing! "And now! You just jumped out of a second story window, chasing your daughters boyfriend!" I raised my eyebrow. "Is that REALLY nothing?"

"Erm yes" he cockily replied "you should not be thinking of Emmett when your meant to be learning. Remember your learning is precious" he was getting on my nerves AGAIN!

**Principle Wickes's POV**

My eyebrow's disappeared into my non-existent hairline as I listened to Edward Cullen and Rosalie Hale banter and fume at each other. What were they talking about? Edward's a dad?! Bit young isn't he? And what's this about jumping out a window?! I must be losing it or I've got dementia! Or maybe these kids are just insane! They must need help! Yes, that must be it! I have to be a good principle and help out these lost souls.

Feeling smug with myself I announced my idea. Safe to say, those were some happy as hell looks I was getting. As they walked out of my office, i heard Miss Hale mutter something like, "over my pile of ashes Edward!" Edward sighed and they continued walking out of my office (well, Miss Hale was being dragged by Mr Cullen but, it's the same concept) in silence, giving each other… hummm what to the young kids' call it, oh that's it, _dirties!_

**AN: Megan – **Thanks to the reviewers! Please keep up with them, we just love reading them!

**Lauren – **Sorry we took so long! We'll update sooner next time…promise ;)

**Myra – **Hope you liked it :)


	3. We're Off To See The Wizard!

**Chapter 3**

**We're off to See the Wizard**

**Alice's POV**

I looked at the assignment on the board: _Write about something you like in Spanish._

Well, this should be easy, I smiled and got to work. I was having so much fun I ended up getting carried away and started having a conversation with myself! This is basically what my assignment ended up looking like...

Me gusta ir de compras. Ir de compras es muy divertido. Vamos a ir de compras. ¿Te gusta comprar? Sé que te gusta ir de compras! Wow yo también! Wow ¿quieres ir de compras? Curso! Oh vamos a una visión falsa y zanja esta lección! Wow su increíble! Sé bien? Vamos a hacerlo! Whoo!

(Translation: I like shopping. Shopping is so fun. Let's go shopping. Do you like shopping? I know you like shopping! Wow me too! Wow do you want to go shopping? Course! Oh let's fake a vision and ditch this lesson! Wow your amazing! I know right? Let's do it! Whoo!)

Whoo that was a fun assignment! Time to fake a vision! Oooh I know, I know!

I turned to Bella and…

Went right in her face and jumped up and down screaming, "Bella! Bella! I know what we're going to do today!"

Bella had a resigned look on her face as she asked me, "what is it Alice?!" When I only smiled at her, her eyebrows drew together and she frowned. "So what is it? Or was that just completely random? If you haven't noticed, we're sort of in class and if you're hyperactive, vampire backside doesn't sit down right now, I will make it!"

"Bella…" I whined, aware I sounded much like a two-year-old, neither of us having noticed Bella's slip of the tongue yet.

She stared at me and started counting down, "5…"

I didn't know whether to take her seriously or not so I jumped up and screamed, "Bella, Bella! I had a vision! We're going shopping tomorrow! In New York!"

"Alice…" she asked with a confused look, like I was insane or like I claimed to be able to see the future or something. Oh wait I can!

"Alice, the last time we went shopping I got a blister! And I'm a vamp-" She froze when she heard a loud thud and we both slowly turned around to see the class watching us. As my eyes raked the room, I found the source of the thud. Some poor kid had fainted from shock. I don't blame him!

But, oh well! This was excellent! My little plan was working better than planned! Poor Bella, I bet if she was still human she would be as red as a tomato. I smirk at her and gave a big, theatrical wave to the class and made to move out of the classroom when the teacher came marching up to us!

"Where do you two think you are going?" she screamed at us in Spanish.

Bella had the most clueless look on her face and as the teacher babbled on in Spanish I felt Bella get more, and more pissed.

I giggled behind my hand as I saw a vision of her when she finally blew her top and I grabbed a chair to sit back and watch the show! Live performance, front row seats, there was no way I was going to miss this! ("Get your popcorn people!" I shouted gleefully.)

**Bella's POV**

I watched my teacher's face get redder and redder as she used up all the air in the room shouting at me, and at first, it was actually quite funny but, when she didn't show any sign of stopping it started to get on my nerves. When I finally thought she was going to shut up when she paused, she just started up again and that was the last straw!

I grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her back and forth. "I. Do. Not. Understand. Spanish. Woman! Comprende?!" I screamed right in her face.

The surprise on her face was enough to send me into fits of laughter but, I bit my lip to try and stifle the giggles.

I watched, fascinated as her face went different colours! Red, purple, blue, oh wait now that's an interesting colour! I wonder what it's called. Maybe I should ask her? Nah, she'll probably say it in Spanish and that's no good to me!

When she finally got her voice back (oh poo! What a shame!) she pointed at the door furiously, and shrieked (in a really high pitched voice too (!)) "Counsellor's office! Both of you!" she glared at Alice as well as me.

"Comprende?" She threw the word back in my face! I was incensed and Alice, sensing this, dragged me out of the classroom, singing 'We're off to see the Wizard!' as loud as she could.

I was just dragged along behind her like a ragdoll, with my mouth opening and closing like a fish, as people peeked out of their classroom's to see the commotion that was Alice.

I groaned. This was going to be a long day…

**AN: Myra – **Just me writing this note! Wow, it feels weird! Anyway, moving on, nothing much just all the normal stuff! Thanks for reading and please review! We love to hear what you think (and I'm not just speaking for myself here)! And we know its short but, that was it really but, don't worry! And yes, I'm aware vampire's don't get blister's but it's an AU so hey, whatever...And we used an online translator for the Spanish bit so, half of it is probably wrong but, yeah we gave you the translation! Anyways! Next chapter will be much longer! Thanks again and review please!


	4. Did You Just Call Me A Man?

**Chapter 4**

**Did You Just Call me a Man?!**

**Jasper POV**

I skulked down the hallway, put out by my argument with Mr. What's-his-face, you know? The one that thinks he's all that! Telling me what I'd lived through even though I already knew the _correct _facts.

Walking through the door way of the counsellor's office, I noticed Emmett slouched on the ugly, brown sofa Alice would disapprove.

"Wassup my brother?" he said with a goofy smile and an odd girly high pitched voice making me wonder what his sex really was.

He rose from his seat and screamed once again in that girly way "group hug!" and before I could register what was going on, I was pulled into one of Emmett's signature bone crushing hugs. Literally, for some people.

"Erm there, there dearie. It's going to be ok?" I said awkwardly.

"What are you British?" he asked while I was still in his bear hug.

I raised an eyebrow. "What do you have against British people?" he shrugged and we sat down to await the absent counsellor.

**Bella's POV**

Meanwhile…

"Alice, stop singing!" I screamed

"Nope, we're off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz." she sang badly out of tune, but it didn't stop there she was skipping and dragging me with her.

As we turn the corner I stumbled as I collided with a rock hard chest. I looked up when the brick wall started laughing only to see two topaz eyes starting back down at me.

"You must be the only vampire to ever stumble even after the change" Edward chuckled.

"Wasn't this supposed to be gone by now?!" I snapped at him.

"It's what made me fall in love with you even more, my love" he smiled down at me.

Then I felt a sharp tugging on my arms and I realised Alice was still attached to my arm. She grabbed onto Edward's arm as well and started dragging us down the corridor. I groaned as she opened her ridiculously huge gob and started singing another really bad version of "We're off to See the Wizard."

I gave Edward a patented puppy-dog pout and begged him to get me away from his deranged sister.

"She's your sister too now."

"I did not sign up for this! What happened to 'I'll always protect to you'?!" I glared at him stonily.

"Aww don't be like that love, I'll always protect you…when your in danger that is." He smirked at me.

I grumbled under my breath "stupid, sexy, mind-reading vampires!"

"I heard that" he said in a sing-song voice. "Alice?" he suddenly said. "Why are you two out here?"

"Well my dearest brother, Bella blew her fuse so now we're off to meet Em, Jazz and the others"

"What" Edward and I said in unison.

"You'll see, visions dearie, visions." She smiled mistily. Then she got a confused look on her face, "Where're the others Edward?"

Edward looked behind him. "Oops, guess I lost them." He shrugged and started back down the hall.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"To the counsellor?" he said.

"Right" I nodded and followed him, not that I had any choice being, attached to Alice's arm that was attached to Edward's arm.

We went down a few hallways in silence until Alice burst out with "Are we there yet?"

I grinned and winked at her when Edward snapped "no."

30 seconds later…

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"…no!"

"Are we there yet?"

"NO!"

"Are we there yet?" Alice and I grinned at each other, alternating between the two of us saying it.

"Yes we are there! So shut the he-!" Edward screamed but, cut off as he looked ahead. "Oh found them."

Confused, I turned to look where he was staring. "Hey dad" Nessie said in a fake happy voice. Edward gulped and went to cower behind me and Alice. An awkward silence befell the group.

"So…" I said dragging out the 'so' and turning to glare down at Edward. "What happened?!"

"It was one of those fatherly instincts! You know? Like the one's you get?"

Everyone went "Oooohhhhh!" And Rosalie even asked me, "would you like to borrow my lighter? You know you wanna burn him!"

Alice's eyes lit up like fairy light's on a Christmas tree and she started belting out "burn baby, burn! " as I stared down, pissed, at a very scared Edward.

"Did you," I hissed, "just call me a…just call me, yeah me, yeah you see me, your wife, me a …a ..a MAN?!" Edward stood there, gob-smacked. "We have a child Edward! What does that make you in this situation?! Hmm? So please explain, if I'm the man, then you gave birth to her apparently eh?! How did that feel eh? Work out pretty well eh? I thought so anyway!" I spun on my heel and viciously asked the others, (who were innocent in this) "what do you think?!"

Edward came to his senses and started backing away from me, apologising profusely. Yeah he better apologise! I thought angrily.

"Rosalie, you're lighter please!" I held my hand out. She gleefully handed it to me. (Isn't it a safety hazard for vampire's to carry lighter's in there back pocket? Jacob asked.)

I turned around, armed and ready, and I lunged at Edward…

**A/N: Dun, dun, duuuuuuuun………**

Oooooh, what's gonna happen now?? – Myra

Well that was an unexpected ending! I ssooooo did not see that coming! if I were Edward I would run and fast!!! – Lauren

Anyways, sorry for the cliff-hanger but, we just had to! It's a compulsion! A bad one at that but, oh well! Anyway, thanks for reading! Please review! - Myra

Till the next chapter! Xxx - Myra


	5. Meeting The Bald Eagle

**Recap...**

**Bella's POV**

"_Rosalie, you're lighter please!" I held my hand out. She gleefully handed it to me. (Isn't it a safety hazard for vampire's to carry lighter's in there back pocket? Jacob asked.)_

I turned around, armed and ready, and I lunged at Edward…

**Chapter 5**

**Meeting the Bald Eagle**

**Emmett's POV**

Five minutes after jazzy wazzy arrived the show began. Some bald headed guy walked in the room with glasses bigger then his head and a suit that looked older than my grandma – hold on a second! I don't have a grandma! A stack of papers higher than the top of the door swayed dangerously in his arms.

"Wow and I thought Bella was adverse to keeping up with the trends but, this is just unreal!" I commented on his ancient-looking wardrobe. "Alice would be ashamed if she were here. Tut, tut"

He tripped, falling flat on his face. Oops, guess I scared him. His stack loads of papers went flying and a folder even thwacked Jazz in the face.

"Erm…yes…just…one…Erm…second…I…Erm never mind" he said while trying to gather his paper but in reality just making more of a mess.

As he was on his knees collecting his papers, the door swung open knocking the shocked doctor into the wall. There in the door way stood Rosalie, Nessie, Jacob a very overly happy Alice and Edward with a very scared expression and standing as far away from Bella as humanly possible. Bella stood with a murderous look on her face glaring at Edward. _I wonder what happened there _I thought. Just as I thought that Edward's head shot up to stare at me. He glared at me unhappily but I just shrugged at him. After a while I started to wonder where the doctor had got to.

I got up and pushed everyone to the side gesturing to them to be quiet and made my way to the door. I slowly pulled the door back from the wall and peered behind it. "Yoohoo doc you there" all I got in reply was a disgruntled moan. I pulled the door all the way back and watched in morbid fascination as the doc tumbled to the ground. I grinned and shouted "timbbbbeeerrrr!" I grinned at the fallen counsellor and turned to look at my family.

Edward stood still with a terrified look on his face as I grabbed them all and shouted "bundle" and pulled them to the ground.

**Bella's POV **

Emmett shouted bundle and pulled us to the ground on top of the counsellor. As we all lied on top of each other I opened my eyes to look into the eyes of my sweet beloved husband Edward( please oh dear sweet god note the sarcasm)

I snarled at my soon to be even deader husband who was being squashed by Emmett's bulky frame, and I'm pretty sure I saw him flinch just a little, all from a small glare.

"Now, now dear" Edward put his hands up nervously, "you don't want to do this! We wouldn't want you to get hurt."

"I'm sorry, _what?"_ I shrieked and I pulled my hand back and connected my newly made fist with Edward's Adonis-like features.

I dragged Edward up by the scruff of his collar, I noticed Emmett clinging to Edward. Well, this is a new development I'm sure. I silently said sorry to Rose and smashed my fist into Emmett's back, sending Emmet and Edward careening into the wall.

"Sorry there Em, you know I love you." I said apologetically to him "you on the other hand." I sent a death glare to Eddie – poo. I let my shield down and thought venomously _better sleep with one eye open sweetheart!_

"Bella, I mean come on, we don't sleep! You should know this by now!" Edward rolled his eyes at me!

_Oooh someone's feeling brave! _I thought in a sing song voice. _I wonder where I put that lighter? Oh wait! Here it is! _I pulled it out and waved it in front of me. "Edward!" I sang. "I'm coming to get ya!"

"Now Bella, you don't want to do this!" Edward tried to coax me into putting down the lighter that I pulled out of my pocket.

I glared at him. "Not this time Edward!" I fumed as he tried to dazzle me. I looked at him in confusion when he walked up to me and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

"Oh my angel, you know I would never hurt you…" I could feel him slipping through my cracks as I stared into his eyes but, I was brought to my senses when we heard something crash in a corner of the room.

We all whipped our heads round to look at the source of the noise. It was Emmett. Of course. Who else?

We watched as he looked at the crystal figurine smashed on the floor and then looked at us, and then back to the figurine. He looked up once more, however, this time he was sporting a huge grin on his face. He opened his mouth and said the most typical Emmett-comment ever…"it moved!"

Rosalie, who was standing next to him, hit him upside the head, shaking her own head at him.

He started whining, "Rose! What was that for?"

"What do you think Emmett?" Rose snapped.

Just then the counsellor turned around and spoke up. "Umm…ok let's not get ahead of ourselves! Let's be adults about this…" he flinched when they all turned around and went "shhhh!"

I watched as he prepped himself to deal with us. I rolled my eyes as he opened his mouth to most likely try and order us to some seats.

"Let's take our seats and begin shall we?" he stated more than asked.

The room filled with exaggerated moans yet, we all took a seat begrudgingly on the too-small-for-more-than-five-people-couch. Well most of us did. Emmett unfortunately, had other ideas…

"MY SEAT!" Emmett screamed "I called it. I saw it. It's mine. Hands off." He made a run-and-jump for the couch and landing on his side with one hand on his hip the other propping up his head.

"Move!" Edward growled.

"Make Me" Emmett challenge. I saw this going wrong but I was not about to stop it. I mean come on he called me a MAN!

"Move you idiot." Edward was losing his temper and quick.

"Nope." Emmett smirked now that he was getting a reaction out of Edward, egging him on for a fight. This was getting out of hand and I do feel bad about what I did to him but, can you blame me, he's gorgeous and I'm just plain for a vampire. I guess I can't blame him.

I walked up to Edward his back facing me, grabbed him by his shirt and spun him round- God I love vampire strength-"Leave it." I whispered softly and kissed him on the lips and pulled away quickly, hey we were still in public in front of my daughter.

Edward gave me the cutest confused look "What happened to 'I'm gonna kill you with Rose's lighter.' Did I miss something?"

"Just drop it, I forgave you right?" I said. He looked at me in awe and wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me tightly. We were brought out of our personal bubble with someone pretending do gag. I tore my eyes away from Edward's to see Jacob's face twisting in disgust.

Edward growled. "Your one to talk! I saw those _things_ you were thinking about Nessie."

Mr. Erm-I-Don't-Actually-Know-His-Name coughed loudly "What do you mean you 'saw' what he was thinking?"

_He really put his foot in that one _I thought. _I wonder how he'll get himself out of this._

**Edwards POV**

I couldn't think of what to do, what to say! What do I say? I looked around, my face begging for help out of this mess but, all I found was my family mentally laughing at me, Alice of course being the loudest.

_You're in deep shit. You really put your foot in it this time. Teach you and your huge ego right. Ha-Ha Eddie-boy._

Ok so I'm not getting any help from my family. Time to improvise "I...Erm Am…umm, Amazing…And…Kinda...Guessed?"

"Sure, Eddie-boy, you guessed it! Right." Emmett smirked at me, egging on the doctor's disbelief.

I glared at Emmett fiercely, as I heard the Doctor thinking _'I can already see I might have to bring out the big guns with this one…this is going to take a lot of work…'_

I sighed resignedly and sat next to my Bella who gave me a sympathetic smile. This wasn't going to end well…

**AN: **Myra - …Lauren, you go first!

Lauren-sorry this took so long but with school and things it gets harder for us to get together and write chapters so we are going to try harder but we make no promises!

Myra – And as you can see, Meg hasn't really been there for the past few chaps so it goes to show how hard it is just to get two of us together.

Lauren – Please keep reviewing. It make's us happy to see your thoughts!

Myra – Plus we get motivated to write. :)


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